Snow Job A Dialog
by nijijin
Summary: How did that snow get in Remus' hand? Light RLSS slash.


Title:Snow Job – A Dialog

Author:Nijijin

Rating:PG-13

Pairing:Light SS/RL

Disclaimer:They don't belong to me…but aren't they so much fun to borrow?

Feedback:Gently please.

Notes:How did that snow get in Remus' hand?

Spoilers:Just a bit of post-war winter silliness.

Archive:Yes, I'd be very pleased.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing, Lupin?"

"Oh…um…why hello, Severus."

"Yes, yes, good afternoon Lupin. Nice weather we're having, Lupin. Answer. The. Question. Lupin."

"Oh, this? Why I'm enjoying the snow, of course."

"By lying in it."

"Well, of course, only way to get the full snow experience, you know. How did you figure out I was back here anyway?"

"I believe the wolf like 'yip' followed by a loud thud might have clued me in to the fact that you were behind this log."

"Oh…um…yes…there is that."

"I wonder…are you this much of a clod in werewolf form? That might be a hypothesis worth researching."

"I am not a clod!"

"Indeed, thus the lying in the snow?"

"I momentarily lost my balance. It could happen to anyone."

"Hmmmm…you could be tested in a variety of environs. Snowy bank sloping down to the lake, highly polished castle hall floor awash in lose rugs…yes…a most rewarding project. Did you perhaps misplace your balance trying to throw that snowball?"

"This? This isn't a snowball. Really, Severus, what could possibly make you think this is a snowball?"

"On closer inspection it does rather look more like a cold, wet, glob of slush turning your fingers an interesting shade of blue. Numb…yes, I believe the color is called Numb Blue. But I will continue to steadfastly believe it was a snowball at one point."

"You have no empirical evidence to support such a theory, Severus. And as you succinctly pointed out, whatever it was has melted away."

"Ahh…but Lupin, circumstantial evidence abounds."

"You sound like a character on one of those American forensic or law enforcement docudramas."

"How do you explain the armory piled against the log behind us? I'm sure palm prints found on those round projectiles resembling, oddly enough, snowballs, will reveal their maker."

"…"

"Not smugly smirking now, Lupin?"

"…"

"I thought not. Now, one does wonder whom this icy barrage was intended for?"

"Ehhhhhh."

"Did you just whimper something? And do close your muzzle. Why Lupin! Was I to be the target of such a heinous, thoroughly immature, ludicrous and hex worthy prank?"

"I…I…I can explain!"

"Yessss, do that, while I take one of these…oh, they are rather well made…and shove it right down your…"

"Now, now, Severus it was all in good fun. I was merrily trying to spread some holiday cheer."

"It's no use trying to scuttle away from me like a crab, Lupin."

"Severus! Wait! Look! There's Harry and Draco walking up the path!"

"What of it?"

"Harry…snowball…in your hand. Use your imagination."

"Hmmmm…a most intriguing idea. And I suppose that hideously feral grin means you wish to smite my godson as well."

"Well…the little bugger did eat the last of my Honeyduke's Special Dark."

"Clearly, such a crime can not go unpunished. Very well, one snowball of retribution to the back of Harry and Draco's head and then we go inside."

"What! One! Only one? Why? That's not fair!"

"Do stop your tantrum this instant. It's most unbecoming and quite honestly rather disturbing. Once again, you've barely bundled up to go outside, you are soaked to the bone and has it escaped your memory that you've only recently recovered from your last bout of illness? Frankly I have no wish to be lectured by Madam Pomfrey on taking better care of my pets."

"Oh, come on, admit it, you just don't like my frozen feet in bed."

"Actually, I am less enamored of my lover sneezing all manner of vile bits and pieces on me while making love."

"I've never done any such thing."

"…"

"Oh, all right, just one snowball and then I'll go inside and allow you to make hot chocolate for me."

"…"

"The elves can make hot chocolate for me and you can warm me up."

"Oh…I plan to make you quite hot, wolf."

"Right…why are we outside again? Ugh…all this snow. Severus, do stop dawdling, I'm freezing!"

"Prat, get him to behave every time."

Fin


End file.
